The Dads in Distress support group is helping Casey fathers cope with separation. From left: Oak Grove Community Centre Committee of Management president Rod Charles, Antonella Peel and DID regional coordinator Laurence Anderson.By Rebecca Fraser
DIVORCE can be a tough experience for any family.
But often it is the husbands and fathers who get forgotten in the equation.
For some dads, the emotional turmoil associated with separation, child access and custody issues is just too much to bear.
That is why Dads In Distress (DID), a support group for single fathers, has been formed. The group meets once a week in Narre Warren.
DID regional coordinator Laurence Anderson said each meeting started with a minute’s silence.
“This represents the five men who commit suicide every day in Australia,” he said. “About 25 per cent of these are separated married men.”
The group also keeps one chair vacant during their meetings to represent men who do not make it through divorce and separation.
“If men don’t have decent access to their children this can be quite a common denomination of depression,” Mr Anderson said.
“Keeping one seat free reminds ourselves in the community and in our circle of friends that some non-custodial fathers will not make it to a DID meeting.
“There is not a great deal of community support for men in these circumstances.”
Mr Anderson said the support group encouraged men to speak and communicate with other dads experiencing a similar situation.
“Men can say what is really going on and this is a weight lifted off their shoulders because they know that they are not going through this alone,” he said.
“It is harder to commit suicide when you are trying to prop up and support the other person sitting next to you.
“Part of your own plight becomes supporting each other.”
Mr Anderson was quick to say DID was not a “women-hating” group and did not hold a political agenda.
“We are not about bagging women. Instead we are trying to solve a serious social problem,” he said.
Mr Anderson said some men went from seeing their children every day to seeing them once a year.
“One man, for example, had his children taken overseas to England,” he said. “He paid for his children to come back for five weeks but then he had to wave goodbye all over again and he was absolutely devastated.
“Then he has to try to come up with the goods again to have them come over.”
DID also runs a weekly session in Frankston, with about 80 men attending the two groups.
DID meets at the Oak Grove Community Centre, 89-101 Oakgrove Drive, Narre Warren South, every Tuesday from 7.30pm.
Oak Grove Community Centre Committee of Management president Rod Charles said the committee had wanted to offer a program that was continual, ongoing and sustainable to the community, so they had asked Mr Anderson to come on board.
“We are trying to get the word around that if men have got a problem they should come and talk to this man,” Mr Charles said.
For more information, call Laurence Anderson on 0431 345 345 or 1300 853 437.
