By Emily Chapman Laing
More early prevention support for men is needed to tackle the alarming levels of family violence in City of Casey, an online family counsellor says.
Fathers, encouraged by social roles and poor support systems, continue to breach a family crisis before seeking help or receiving forced intervention.
For the 12 months to September 2022, there were 5208 family incidents in the City of Casey – a rate of 1381.5 per 100,000 people.
City of Casey notes that parliamentary reports suggest that less than a third of women suffering family violence actually contact the police following an episode.
However, greater support is being offered to fathers who are motivated to improve themselves and their family relationships.
Run by experienced counsellor and family mediator Amanda Gibson, Better Fathers is an online life coaching service, with the purpose of helping fathers achieve their parenting goals.
Ms Gibson’s history in social work and family support allowed her to see firsthand how lacklustre the early prevention support system is for fathers.
“Whenever things are not quite okay in the home, we always look towards the female to make changes,” she said.
An early prevention strategy for fathers who are more at risk of family violence, substance and alcohol abuse or dilapidated familial relationships is at the core of Better Fathers’ philosophy.
“It would have to be at crisis point where the police were called [before help was offered],” Ms Gibson said.
“I think there’s a cohort of men that would like to make changes before things get to a point where things are not quite right.”
There is a myriad reasons why family violence episodes occur.
However, both the council and Ms Gibson agree that social norms and a lack of father-oriented parental education play a large role.
“Male violence against women and children is primarily the result of a violence-supporting culture,” the City of Casey said in their Family Violence Prevention Strategy.
“Alcohol and illicit drug use, male peer relations that condone aggression and disrespect and poverty that gives rise to relationship conflict and poor parenting [also contribute].”
With the implementation of the paid parental leave changes later this year, there is a shift in the culture towards more equal parenting.
“Society is changing,” said Ms Gibson.
“Back in the day, fathers went to work, earned the money and that was about it.
“Society is changing where men are parenting more but they haven’t got a great template.”
Currently, a breaking point must be reached for intervention to occur, which is forced upon individuals via an L-17, or Victorian Police Risk Assessment and Risk Management Report.
“If there’s an L-17, then there’s very little change that happens,” Ms Gibson said.
“They’re not at that point where [fathers are willing] to say there is something they can do to manage their behaviours.”
Better Fathers uses a self-referral model, and Ms Gibson has found that choosing to get the support themselves leads to greater success and change.
“The motivation for change actually comes that person,” she said.
“It’s about meeting these men where they’re at, and then going through and working on what they want to change.
“It’s more self-motivated.”
While City of Casey employs their Family Violence Prevention Strategy at a municipal level, there are other options for fathers who want to seek support and garner change under the radar.
“My service is completely confidential,” said Ms Gibson.
“It’s online, one-on-one, working at their pace of what goals they want to work on.
“I would like to think that that would open up the doors for men to be able to say actually, this is not great at the moment and this is where I need to go.
“Nobody else would even need to know about it.”
