By Emily Chapman Laing
Local woman Lily Smith-Stephens of Sapphire Spirituality is reigniting an ancient feminine tradition.
At the young age of 26, Lily says she has tapped into feminine knowledge that is thousands of years old.
Women’s circles are intimate gatherings, where women come together to seek sage council, set goals, dream, share and play.
The practice of circular gatherings extends far into human prehistory, with our ancestors gathering around fires to stay warm, tell stories and eat.
Many cultures still hold this practice as sacred and commonplace.
The Beng of Africa’s Ivory Coast, the Maasai of Kenya, the Yurok tribe of the Pacific Northwest and the Ulithi of the South Pacific are prime examples.
Women’s circles are ancient rituals that were often tied to the moon phases and/or menstruation.
Sapphire Spirituality follows in the footsteps of our foremothers, holding circles on the new moon and full moon each month.
“Our cycles align with the moon cycles,” Lily explained.
“We naturally get energetic around the full moon and we naturally need a little bit more rest around the new moon.”
Founder and director of Circle Connections, Ann Landaas Smith notes that at a minimum we can tie these traditions back to 800 CE, though there is evidence of circular gatherings that can be traced back 300,000 years.
As societies became less egalitarian and more hierarchical (and patriarchal), the importance of these gatherings became lost.
Important cyclical ways of being and thinking were replaced with linear understandings of existence that placed some above or below others.
“A circle has no sides. [In a circle] we’re all equal to each other,” Lily explained.
“I’m not more important than you, you’re not more important than me.
“We all put in, we all participate equally.
“[It’s] a collaboration, not [someone] telling you what to do.”
Where women were once coveted for their spiritual and healing tendencies, they were now persecuted as witches.
Women’s circles became dangerous, potentially life-threatening activities and as such decreased in popularity.
Recently, there has been a surge in women’s interest in the ancient traditions that were so normal to their predecessors.
Sapphire Spirituality facilitates the kind of growth and community that women once held sacred.
“It’s what connects us all to ourselves and to each other.
“Without that ancient feminine wisdom, without our natural cycles, we’re out of touch with ourselves and we’re out of touch with each other.
“We don’t connect nearly as well and we don’t feel as comfortable.
“And I think if we try to ignore that, we’re going against our natural instincts and who we are.”
After years of attending women’s circles, Lily has cultivated unimaginable connections.
“I was learning so much about myself,” she recalled.
“I was connecting with people in a way that I hadn’t before, and they were deep, gorgeous, open connections.”
Lily immediately noticed a need for this kind of sacred space within her own community.
“I tried really hard to find some local things.
“I was finding there really wasn’t much. So I finally decided [that] if I can’t get to the spaces, then I need to bring the spaces to me and to other women like me.”
So, what can you expect from a women’s circle?
“Women’s circles are all about sharing.
“We can find things we didn’t think we had in common with anyone that are actually a very common experience.
“It’s a lot like journaling. You get lots of prompts and then you think about and answer those prompts as honestly as possible.
“Then we always have a little fun activity. Sometimes it’s art, sometimes it’s movement, like dance or yoga.”
The circles are an entirely confidential space where women are able to express themselves safely.
Sapphire Spirituality operates by a strict “what happens in circle, stays in circle” code to ensure the sanctity of the circle is upheld.
However, participants are never forced to share.
“I don’t want anyone to go over their own boundaries.
“Once they walk away from here, I want everyone to be comfortable with what they’ve shared.
“I just want women to come in and to find the tender edge. So you’re not jumping off the cliff but you might sit on the edge and push yourself to share something that’s a little deeper.”
Lily also praises women’s circles for their ability to create a space where women feel comfortable exploring topics they may not feel comfortable exploring around men.
“You can break through with what you might only feel comfortable sharing in a circle of women who have agreed to keep it a secret.”
The most crucial aspect of the circle is that there is no right or wrong way to be within it, and Lily hopes that as her circle grows in numbers, it will also grow in diversity.
“I want variety for the group,” she said.
“I want to reach as many different kinds of people as I can.
“You learn the most when the group is the most diverse.
“I’d love to see more different types of women in the circles, old, young, parents, not parents, all colours, shapes and sizes.”
Participants are loving Lily’s dedication to these ancient ways of being.
Maddie Blanchard, 20, has found it hard to find that sense of community in her daily life.
“In this day and age, it’s hard to find community,” she explained.
But the circle has offered Maddie, among other women, the chance to rebuild that sense of connection that they’ve been missing.
“The girls and women that you meet here are all usually like-minded. We’re not in the same boat, but we’re in the same storm so we can understand each other.
“If you don’t want to go to therapy, I think it’s a good alternative sometimes because it’s not so daunting.
“You’re with other people, and we all share something.”
Sapphire Spirituality’s next circle will be the Full Moon Women’s Circle, Friday 3 March between 5.30pm and 7pm at Timbarra Community Centre, Berwick.
