Husbands testing the limits of love

The Casey Family Violence Unit recently received a report of a local mum given just $10 a week by her husband to spend on personal items.

By GEORGIA WESTGARTH

WIVES restricted to spend as little as $10 per week on personal items – by controlling husbands – is becoming a growing trend in Casey, and it’s proving hard for officers to police.
In charge of the Casey Family Violence Unit (CFVU), Sergeant Ian Lane said this type of emotional abuse is “not what should happen in a normal and equal marriage”.
“It is morally wrong, it’s not the way a relationship should operate but it’s not criminal,” he said.
This means police have no grounds to lay charges and instead offenders, with victim consent, are slapped with an intervention order – which often gets breached.
“There’s a whole range of options surrounding intervention orders and sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t – I know a lot of men in Casey breach their intervention orders,” Sgt Lane said.
Some of the most prevalent controlling abuse by male spouses surpasses financial limits, with boundaries put on social interactions as well.
“These are controlling behaviours that some men use and I see it spanning different ages,” Sgt Lane said.
A recent report, which landed into the lap of the CFVU team of 10, involving a Casey mother, was deemed not unique, in an abundance of shocking accounts affecting women.
“We had a report come through where a mum of primary aged children was being given $10 a week to spend on things for herself,” Sgt Lane said.
“She has to ask her husband if she can get certain things if it’s outside the $10 dollars.”
Sgt Lane said this instance involved a joint account, however the female spouse “is not allowed to access the money without permission to buy necessities for the household”.
“In a typical marriage people share things and have equal responsibilities, this type of abuse leads to a loss of confidence for the victim and can result in mental health problems,” Sgt Lane said.
“In some cases victims of this kind of family violence turn to alcohol and drugs and isolate themselves from the community.”
The CFVU deals with more than 4500 family violence reports every year and Sgt Lane said a growing proportion of these involve controlling behaviours for which police cannot lay charges.
“She has reported a non-violent type of domestic abuse, so in relation to him at the moment he has not committed a criminal offence,” Sgt Lane said.
“It’s not criminal but it is grounds for an intervention order which in this case police have taken out on her behalf.”
Sgt Lane encourages anyone experiencing emotional or physical abuse in the home to contact the Cranbourne Police Station on 5991 0600.