By LACHLAN MOORHEAD
FOR the first time in close to 20 years Fatimah can have a proper conversation with her brother.
Fatimah (not her real name) was the driving force in ensuring her ice-addicted brother entered rehab at the end of last year, finally finding sobriety and starting his life over.
She said it was almost two decades ago when her younger brother fled the family’s home as a teenager and started using drugs, severing almost all contact with his family.
When he finally returned home following their father’s death roughly 10 years ago, Fatimah said she had almost given up hope of being able to have a relationship with her brother.
“I think this is the first time in over 10 years, probably close to 20 years, that I can have a conversation with him. I couldn’t do that before,” Fatimah from Hallam said.
“I want people out there to know that having a loved one who is struggling with an addiction is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s because we were ashamed that it lasted this long.
“Drug addiction is a problem in all societies and walks of life. It’s not specific to a culture or denomination.”
Fatimah said her brother was so volatile and unreasonable that she was afraid to have her daughter in the same room as him.
“I was constantly in fear for my mother’s safety, his safety and also my daughter’s safety.
“I couldn’t bring my daughter around to my mum’s house while he was around,” she said.
“I didn’t want him to suddenly get violent, to have one of his violent attacks in front of her.
“Not physical violence but he’ll yell and yell and yell and if I stood my ground, if I didn’t move he’ll just shove me out of the way.
“I didn’t want her to see that.
“She (Fatimah’s daughter) knows now he’s gone into rehab.
“I told her, I explained it to her and she was quite surprised because when he’s not using, when the effects are gone, he’s actually pretty gentle.”
The journey which led to her brother attending rehab began when Fatimah saw a flier for Vision of Hope – a monthly counselling program run by staff at Hallam Medical Group for people whose loved ones suffer from drug or alcohol addiction.
“I went there and found all the help I needed to be stronger,” Fatimah said.
“I changed my approach from blaming him to saying that I don’t understand, I don’t know what to do anymore.
“I don’t want you to end up dying. We know that death is inevitable but we don’t want you to go like this.
“With help, I was able to accept that I was an enabler in his life, not accepting the fact that he’s struggling and condemning him for it.
“With this understanding in mind he was more receptive to my efforts to help him.”
For more information or to join Vision of Hope, contact the Hallam Medical Group on 9796 5400.
